Friday, April 27, 2012

Untitled

I regrettably yielded, I finally submitted.

Like a soft wind that breezes off a weathered leaf,

Too subtle, feeling reassured of a gentle catch beneath,

Just as any other scoured leaf on a mid-autumn day.

Fragility that once beacons,

It dithers, never ceases to be restless,

A fallen life, a fatal choice of falling.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Message (2)

On graduation day, there is such an explosion of emotions all around: excitement of the graduate, who after four or five years of examinations, term paper, graded recitation, thesis presentation, cannot but have that feeling of exhilaration for having survived all these. There is the feeling of joy of the parents, for having successfully guided their child to this day, where so many other parents fail. There is the feeling of delight of the teachers, for having participated in the learning process of an individual, perhaps, changing the very course of his student's life.
But after all the din of the celebration dies down, the graduate looks at himself and asks: What next? This is how the real world; I am on my own now. I have to start moving toward success.

What is your definition of success? Many will say a high paying job, a car, a beautiful house in an exclusive subdivision. And if you don't get these things, do you consider yourself a failure? Many people define success as the opposite of failure, but as one commencement speaker said: "Success is not the opposite of failure. It is an integral part of failure" Which means that in life, if there is an important thing you want but you fail to achieve it after several attempts, don't give up. Determination, a firm resolve - keep going, until success happens.

There is no reason for you to allow fear to get in your way. As Nelson Mandela has said: "Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world".

Congratulation Graduates!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Fraternity / Sorority

Joining a fraternity or a sorority (why single out the boys only?) is a matter of choice, an exercise of our right to join any organization. And no one can prevent us from joining, not even the state.

I get emotional every time this topic is touched. I have nothing personal against fraternities since I do respect and uphold freedom of expression. It's just a matter of how some fraternities regard themselves in our society in comparison to "barbaric" non-frat members like myself. They tend to place themselves on par of everyone else. Then, what would you have if every fraternity had such kind of thinking? Endless fratwars for dominance. Lo, the culture of violence, patriarchy and patronage is preserved. Why would you join a frat in the first place? To make connections, ensure employment and wield unbridled access to elite activities? True, not all fraternities engage in violence/fratwars. Some are known for their noble endeavors. Aside from the moronic hazing, what is undesirable about some fraternities is the way elders favor members in place of more qualified applicants to a company where these elders are the bosses. Some law firms are virtual repositories of fraternity/sorority brotherhood/sisterhood. What culture do you call that? Even in government, those who get appointed are the people who have the fraternity connections.

I am not totally against fraternities as they can also be potent catalyst for positive change. For those aiming to join one, caution should be taken to study carefully each frat's history, mission, program of activities, alumni, social standing, etc. Otherwise, fraternities could spell a lifetime of bondage to a wrong cause.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Quotations.

My response to the repetitious and, if I may say, bland questions as to the life choice I've taken can be fairly summarized by the following quotations.  (Pasintabi kina Emerson, Thoreau, Mao, Ghandi, Rand and, yes, Christ.)
“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you tha...t you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.”
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”
“What's the use of a fine house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?”
“If you can speak what you will never hear, if you can write what you will never read, you have done rare things”
“Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around.”
“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”
"One cannot advance without mistakes... It is necessary to make mistakes. The party cannot be educated without learning from mistakes. This has great significance."
"One needs to be slow to form convictions, but once formed they must be defended against the heaviest odds."
"'Ambition' means the systematic pursuit of achievement and of constant improvement in respect to one’s goal. Like the word 'selfishness,' and for the same reasons, the word 'ambition' has been perverted to mean only the pursuit of dubious or evil goals, such as the pursuit of power; this left no concept to designate the pursuit of actual values. But 'ambition' as such is a neutral concept: the evaluation of a given ambition as moral or immoral depends on the nature of the goal. A great scientist or a great artist is the most passionately ambitious of men. A demagogue seeking political power is ambitious. So is a social climber seeking 'prestige.' So is a modest laborer who works conscientiously to acquire a home of his own. The common denominator is the drive to improve the conditions of one’s existence, however broadly or narrowly conceived. ('Improvement' is a moral term and depends on one’s standard of values. An ambition guided by an irrational standard does not, in fact, lead to improvement, but to self-destruction.)"
"Politically, the goal of today’s dominant trend is statism. Philosophically, the goal is the obliteration of reason; psychologically, it is the erosion of ambition. The political goal presupposes the two others. The human characteristic required by statism is docility, which is the product of hopelessness and intellectual stagnation. Thinking men cannot be ruled; ambitious men do not stagnate."
“What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul.”

Friday, April 13, 2012

things i miss (2)

1. rice

2. mr. kabab @ west avenue

3. soju

4. your sweetness chocolates

5. a nice private convo with you

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Quicksand

You try so hard to resist the force that keeps on pulling you down. You grab on to things that you think are strong enough to let you hold on. You attempt to pull these things, hoping that they are really firm enough to pull you out from the quicksand. But they are not, apparently. Some choose to fly away and rest beside other quicksand. Some tend to get sucked by the quicksand too, realizing that holding on for a long time was worthless. Some crawl away from your grasp, and watch you from a distance. You finally realize that there's nothing to hold on anymore. You watch yourself sink slowly into the darkness.

Sometimes, you are able to emerge from it. You use all the strength you have to push out all the sand surrounding you. You see some sunlight and for a moment, there was some hope that burned inside you. You immediately reach for that light, knowing that what's behind it is much better than where you are. But the light is too elusive. The more you reach out, the farther it gets. And again, you become tired, your energy is drained. You stop reaching for it and you watch yourself sink slowly into nothingness.

Whenever you feel that you need to get out from it, you think of all the things you used to have. These things were the reasons why you have become yourself. These things made you sane. They have molded you into someone and they have helped you live a life that's full of vibrant colors and happy harmony. These things, unfortunately, were also the reasons why you are stuck in a vacuum. You shouldn’t have thought of these things in the first place. They only remind you of the pain. And when you think the quicksand cannot pull you any deeper, it grips you inside and starts to pull some more, like a roller coaster ride that only goes down.

It is not a happy place. You get that. And how you wish you could return to that life you had. But when you endure all the agony in this quicksand every day of your existence, you learn that there is no going back. The future will never be bright. The past will always be a dark and painful reminder that you have made mistakes, bad mistakes, which could never be forgiven. You are stuck in the present. A gloomy and repressive state that eats up every bit of positivity inside you. You are not you anymore.

You wish you held on to those things beside the quicksand. You wish they never left you. You wish they helped you. But wishes do not come true in quicksand. You are doomed.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Crossroads (3)

So many times I have asked myself whenever I reached a crossroad in my life; which way do I go? Do I follow the road that everybody walks on or do I follow what my heart tells me to?

Some crossroads that I have reached in the past had been easy ones because there was somebody guiding me. There was somebody who walked ahead of me to make sure that I followed his lead. There was somebody who walked behind me to protect me from being pushed or shoved. But through the years I will always remember that somebody who took my hand and walked with me, passing that crossroad while whispering kind words to ease the fear that he saw in my eyes.

But there came a day when I suddenly stopped as I reached another crossroad. I looked around but there was nobody in sight. I felt the thumping of my heart and the weakening of my knees. I felt so alone. I thought to myself, can I do this? I looked around once again hoping that somebody would be there. There was nobody. I took a deep breath and thought real hard which way to go. Finally, it was time to make a decision. As I started taking my steps towards the path I felt was the right one, I was thinking, that whatever happens, at least I did it on my own. As I reached the other side of the road, I turned around, looked back and I began to smile. I made it! I have passed the crossroad by myself.

From then on, I have done a lot of walking, running, stumbling and at the same time trying to keep myself from being pushed or shoved as I found my path in those crossroads. Along the way, I also learned to step aside and give way, to lead, to walk behind someone. Most importantly, I learned to lend a hand to somebody who I felt was in the same boat I was in sometime in the past - when I was not sure of what to do or which way to follow.

Now, I am faced again with this crossroad of life and I ask myself; do I follow my guide or do I follow my heart?