Blow Me Away

I'm getting emotional again, I know right.

Hope You Guys can cheer me up!

I'm depressed and having negative thoughts.

Problems that work & home. I'm losing it. Need to escape. Take it easy, Ahmer!

But at least, I know what is going on with ME.

I just want to blow it off.

It's like a pressure cooker. You release some of the air, So it won't boil over.

What Goes Around Comes Around

What is karma? Why do we have karma? Is karma with the self or do we truly have lessons that need to be learned with other souls?  

When I think about karma I think about attitude, energy, cause and effect and that as attitude and energy, Karma rides along with the force (within us) that we use to live out our lives. I have never heard karma explained this way, this is just my thinking about karma applied to my life.

Karma, for me, is like DNA, it is like a life script within us, and I/we can learn how to regulate the type and kind of karma that sits within our hearts and minds, and rises up from the unconscious.
What do you think karma is and how has it affected you?




Image taken here.

Therapy

Wednesday

Got home at 08:15
.
.
.
Listened to TMR until their segment ended.
Topic : Dear Blank, (Note)
Worth it 'coz my entry sorted out.

It goes like this...

"Dear Antok, Dalawin mo naman ako"
.
.
.
Time 10:25

Wide awake.
Tossed and turned still can't sleep.
I wanted to sleep, but my mind and body were not cooperating.

"What's on my mind? There's a problem do I need to solve?"
I figured out what's what, I thought I will be on my way to some restful zzzz's
Tried to ignore it but still there...on my mind

Time 12:15
Got up and did something 'till tired enough.
Did some light stretches.

Booze-wise.
Had glasses of red wine.

All Failed

Time 12:39

I took a warm bath and a glass of warm milk.
Moved to a darker room.
Played some soothing music that lull me to sleep.

Breathe. Inhaled. Exhaled.

Mantra.
Mmmmmmmm
om
Ahhhh
So Sleepy...

Prayed.
I turned it over to the M of U.

Time 14:59 - Sleeping

and Woke up at 18:38

The Time used Reference from Text Messages.
Therapy by India.Arie - the last song that I heard before slipping into Dreamland.

Twenty Seven

"For years now, I've been searching feverishly for something. I believe that GOD stands beside me through it all."  

Something Is Missing In My Life

"It has been my beacon of light when I used to complain at the way life is treating me. It gives me wisdom and inspiration for living life to the full."

An inspired piece of work

"If we can’t see the good things we already have, then how will we see the good things we don’t have?"

Am I really unhappy?

"Music gives opinions in your mind but hidden in a melody. It imparts story, a story full of reality, fantasy or sarcasm. It not only draws the mind but it touches the soul and heart."

What the music speaks the heart listens

"The silence is what cradles me, and gives me solace."

Silence

"I just realized reading today's different Blog posts, that "strangers" is an unfamiliar term for me."

Strangers

"Sometimes after becoming angry I feel energized and creative."

Anger.

"Everyday I make sure to smile and laugh with at least ONE person at a minimum."

Smile

"...the last risk I took was writing this little blog here."

Our Capacity To Transform

"One can not deny that we are connected to each other and that alone, for me, eliminates the illusion that left to our conscious minds, we can navigate the pathways of our lives on our own."

Guides and Angels

"Always be willing to admit that you don't have all the answers."

11 Keys 

"The thoughts we have and the actions we take make us who we are."

Animals

"First time I saw porn, I was eight."

Porn or No Porn

"...to be successful and financially independent enough to be able to treat my parents to a cruise around the world..."

Enough

"The attachment to and the belief that one's point of view is the only one that should exist."

Give Peace A Chance

 .

"Just listen to my breath. Not try to control it. Just pay attention to my breath."

Bored

"But I am aware that i am growing older."

Age is just a number

"Love and Lust are different kinds of emotions."

Physical Intimacy

"This is called the church of the mind and you can go there anytime you choose."

Religion

Sometimes I find just the right words that others have written and they help me along through my journey and my difficulties.

Half Orange

"The heart says “I want this, this is my desire” and the head says, “No you don’t” and the heart says “Yes I do” and the head says “Don’t (sticking out tongue)”."

Going Out of My Head

"Everyday should be a celebration of your Life."

Let Us Celebrate!

"Now, I am faced again with this crossroad of life and I ask myself; do I follow my guide or do I follow my heart?"

Crossroads

"Inspiration comes from many places."

When I Look at You

"Love comes later when two people meet and start knowing each other well."

Unforgettable

"I am big now but still not fully grown."

Half of Me is Missing

"It's another year to grow and learn about yourself..."

Birthday 2009

"Today, I thank God for my 27th years of a blessed Life"

Bless the Broken Road – Rascal Flatts

IS IT TIME TO LEAVE?

In almost six years of stay at my job...

At first, work is extremely challenging.

As time passes however, I become adept at my job.
I find ways to do my work faster and more efficiently.

I can say that I love what I do and the people I am with.
Even if it's not compensate as well as I want.

But as more time passes,

Things become cushy.
I am not learning anymore.
Politics are getting in the way of work.
I'm getting bored at work.
Doesn't feel like I need to challenge myself anymore.
I feel that my world in this place is getting smaller and smaller.

Is it time to leave?

BTW, I lied in my previous post.

PostScript : Sorry Hon, I am so quiet lately. I am trying to steal time and find a moment to relax. I will be okay.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Photo taken from here.

No Matter What

Somewhere down the street,

Someone's gonna pick you up,

Care for your bruises and gives you a hug,

No matter who you were,

No matter who would you become...

No matter what.

Unforgettable

I can still remember...

...the first time we talked. It's phlegmatic and I was not even excited but I am just eager to know you and be my friend.

...it's been four months since the first time we met - the first time when I see you smiled at me. It was a relief because I was in trauma that time.
We've been very good friends since then.

...you were there when I am so disheartened just to feel me better. I felt the silent comfort of your presence.

...our first flight together, I am at sixes and sevens that time -- there's this question hanging in my head that asking me " Are you just a friend ? "
And Yes, you are a friend but also my lover.

...the first time you said "I love you" and the first night we kissed. I will never forget that wonderful night.

...the first time you did only just for me and with the trust you have given me that moment - I've never felt so much love.

...that you lied. Yes, you lied. It's not that you lied outright. I know and understand why you did. It doesn't hurt me anymore. I have moved already. You know what I mean.

I've never felt a connection like this before.
Felt so good, Felt so right.
No inhibitions.

Love comes later when two people meet and start knowing each other well.

It's so beautiful to develop this love and nurtured it well until it sprout naturally.

I miss you : )


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

When I Look At You

Inspiration comes from many places.

One should never be limited in seeking sources of inspiration.

To see the smile of a child, hear the songs of hope, appreciate the art of the dancer, the majesty of the eagle soaring so high.

Never put limitations on your visions.

To achieve the impossible, one must recognize the challenge and all things that are possible.

Soon we shall see that nothing is impossible.

I realized that...

We should not allow our thoughts to be enslaved by mundane and senseless things, and instead find time seeking for wisdom which our troubled and disheartened minds reject.

Tender Love & Care

I just love the thought of being loved and cared of, just that and nothing else more.

The Past.

there's no sense in revisiting past events --

things that had left disturbing emotional scars --

-- because past is past and there is no way to change it.

let bygones be bygones, let pain be a living lesson of the past.

Dinner at Home.

There are millions who don't understand why you're still unmarried despite your age, your difficulty to make ends meet toward yourself and your large family - as if getting married is the only option one has to take in his lifetime. They either tag you as gay, selfish, or irresponsible. People in this lifetime can be too cruel and insensitive.

Petiks

i'm not doing anything dito sa office. it's both a relief and unnerving at the same time. kasi pag may work, super stressful. pero pag wala, i can't help but think if it's because of my inefficiency and ineptitude that prevents my bosses form giving me work, especially if everyone around me is so darn busy.

shudder the thought.

ahmerism

This site is under migration and content is in freeze mode!

This site is migrated to ahmerism

My new Website is up, but still under construction.

I will be using my real name this time: )

AHMER

Abnormally Handsome Man Elated Romeo 

 

http://ahmerism.weebly.com/my-blog.html

Birthday.2009

What do birthdays mean to you?

ako yan at si mama n'ung unang kaarawan ko.

Birthdays mean getting together with those who are close to you and celebrating life.
It's another year to grow and learn about yourself, to make new memories and also to reflect on what you have accomplished so far.
It's a time to celebrate you.

By the way, Today is my Birthday!

Karma.

What do you believe about karma?




Intention matters.
If you intend to cause harm, but don't, it counts. That desire to cause pain harms you and those around you. They can feel it even if they can't identify or explain it.
If you intend the best for those around you:

• safety,
• love,
• courage,
• strength,
• honesty,
• flexibility,
• creative energy,

it affects them like warm breeze.

Joke.

Can you tell a joke well?


I can't even if my life depended on it! Some folks are gifted at this, creative expressions and the climax all leading to the punch line. All this theatrics makes a joke good even if it is a groaner!

I can't remember them either, even the real good ones and even when I beg myself too…I just can't! Than I do the worst of all, try to repeat it anyway and hack it up and lead with the punch line! Than I try to recover by saying something like, “trust me, it was really funny!”

Change.01

Have you successfully changed something about yourself?


Yes. I am in constant flux. Evolving is the way I see it. Always trying to better myself. I think the most important thing I have changed is the way I see myself. I have become less critical and more forgiving of myself. I have actively worked on being myself.

Have you noticed how some people will try to break you down when you change, even if it is for the better? And, more importantly how others will support you in this?

Honesty.

...honesty is always best?

I can't tell a Lie.

Love without Truth is hypocritical while Truth without Love is cruel.

Something Is Missing In My Life

For years now, I've been searching feverishly for something.

I've always had that feeling that I'm supposed to be doing something else much more important than the usual doings.

This feeling never goes away.

It's with me every day.

It's a nagging feeling that reminds me when I'm traveling, at home, in the shower, and in bed.

It tells me to keep searching.

It pushes me from within and always brings me back to the spirit - back on track.

This feeling drives me and never stops.

It is inspiration.

Have you ever had this feeling?

I know I'm not the only one feeling this but I just wanna vent this out.

Am brought up by my family with discipline through catholic religion so I know it’s not religion.

It’s not human relationship too..

So I think…

I had non-marital relationships but still I felt some piece of my personality maybe or my life missing.

I don’t know… I can’t even grope the right words to express it…

I just don’t know… Maybe I still didn't realize and found out what I really want and what makes me happy? ~ sigh ~

It’s not most of the time though… It’s just some time when I'm not preoccupied.

BTW I'm 25…. not young : )

I think I have to take more time for myself and use it to “think”

Think about everything that has happened and that is happening around me now…

And only ME have the answer to this question and even though it is hard to realize…

It is deep in my heart…

I just need time and patience to figure it out… and I am very optimistic that I will find it

I believe that GOD stands beside me through it all.