FROM MY JOURNAL, ALL ABOUT YOU.

Haven’t met you yet and knowing you by social media for several months is not easy.

It just likes a full moon drawing near the ocean to its highest tide level.

I wholeheartedly admit that I affectionately and passionately attracted to you.

So please listen, I sincerely, really, really, really mean this.

It gives me joy every time I'm thinking of our phone conversations and expressing my special and affectionate feelings through letters.

I deeply thank Him for the wonderful sight of our first conversations — your grace and beauty.

Your sincere smile during that time brightened my world. It offers me new meaning to live my life.

My evening dullness fades away each moment I was reading your thoughtful messages which always greet me good night.

From you I heard the sweetest voice like a morning bird's song praising and thanking Him for another day of our life's journey.

Your willingness to feel my love for you makes me hopeful, fulfilled and complete.

I will be the happiest one to live if I'll always be with you who teach me such love like this.

Finally I fervently pray Him for assistance to help me devote myself in selflessly loving you forvever.

You are the special solitary in my heart.

Even I have entered the friend zone.

M.A.D.

Hey You,

You will always be in my heart.

Love.
AMR

ILY

Why is it so hard to say I love you?

for the first time.

IT FEELS LIKE ANY OTHER TIME TRAVEL

It feels like any other time travel.

You get back on your feet. Feel your limbs get back to work, your body warming up and wonder where you are. And where your clothes are.

And then, you feel the rush of cold wind greet your face. You clasp both your arms because the cold is too much. A tear traces it's way to your cheek down to the side of your lips. Your eyesight clouded. The more fear you feel.

`Where am I?` is the least you could spare your intellect. A question would be the most logical and only thing you could think of right now. You just have to accept it. You're lost. Somehow.

`How did I get here?` more questions.

The saddest part of traveling through time is that you never know where you might end up, or how did you end up being there. It's a fascination with people like me how you cope up with being random. Then it hits me.

I examine my nakedness and try to give a guesstimate of where in time I've been hurled to. Scars, facial hair, eye bags, penis size. I'm somewhere in my mid-thirties. I haven't had the knee scar yet.

I spread my arms, lifting my face up in the cloudless afternoon sky and feel the energy of youth. I am young again.

And I am restless again.

The thoughts came rushing in as the continual cold scamper through my skin getting in, longing for my insides, longing to infect it with the cold.
I am young.
I am restless.
I am energetic.
I am cold.
I am lost.

Then as if time strips me of wisdom, that I acquired through those excruciating hurdles of life, I don't know what I want. I am still standing here in the middle of nowhere, mosquitoes feasting on my blood. I am still standing here but I cannot find myself anymore.

Again.

I thought it was just my stomach complaining. A grumble in the middle of this juvenile flexible body. Starvation. But no. As I instinctively clutched my center, the hole pulled me in, turning me inside out. Then I feel for the floor.

It feels like any other time travel.

You get back on your feet.

Feel your limbs get back to work, your body warming up and wonder where you are.

And where your clothes are.

You decided long ago not to keep track of time.

There is no right time anyway.

TRAPPED

Like a leaf floating on the waters,
I found myself in the middle of nowhere
Lost, rattled, fearful
Even though the waters cradled me in its calmness,
Still, I'm searching for the place
where I once belonged...
where I should really be till eternity..

M.A.D.

Hey You,

I still can't stop thinking about you.

Love,
AMR

LOVE, SIMON

Simon and The Homo Sapiens Agenda
by Becky Albertalli

I was planning to post this right after I watch the movie adaptation #LoveSimon but I can’t wait and help myself sharing it…

This book was amazing!
It is quirky, endearing, funny, and better yet, honest and real to how it feels to be gay.

All I can say is that this is not a book to miss, and I honestly loved it. No matter your sexual identity, this is an awesomely cute story that should be shared and loved.

I can’t wait to see the movie!

Plus I want that #ElliotSmith T-Shirt!

ARE YOU THE ONE?

my blinded eyes failed to see

the essence of your love for me

my closed heart didn't bother to feel

the sweetness of your touch so real

my ears didn't find time to hear

your melody so lovely and sincere

for my eyes were fixed on the false beauty I adored

my heart was beating for the mask of silver and gold

my ears only listened to deceitful words that settled my mood

and left your truthful words misunderstood

I seriously pondered on a hopeless love

and later on landed like a wounded dove

I don’t want to be killed in regrets

for me to realize that maybe

you're the real treasure in disguise.

FROM HIM, R.

I never thought what to expect
It was humid gloomy night
I was scared and excited
Out of the darkness
I saw you standing
You smiled and said hello
Your fair skin shined
Your warmed welcome had calmed me

I just can't keep my eyes off you
Like I want to get to know you
During our warm up
I heard your banters with your friend
I'm so glad to hear that you had three past relationship
To which we both play for the same team

As we paddle in the warm salty water
Your smell had just charmed me
I was impressed with your muscular sturdy legs
I had to level up my strokes to keep up with you
Coz I don't want you to think of me as a weak newbie

During our photo op
I try to keep my position as close to you
Then, you put your hand around me
I try to keep it nonchalant

It took me hours to find your profile
And when I found it
My first message to you was

I think I found - Yo

MAYBE

I want to cry on your shoulders
I want to shed all my tears
I want to cry my heart out
Knowing that I’m only just your maybe

Why do we have to start over
When yesterday’s seem alright
Wish we could do those things again
Please let’s keep our love alive

Why do you have to keep it for so long
You hurt me most in my lowest times
Yet nothing I can do but sigh
and let you go even if I cry

I miss you and I still love you
I die slowly with this agony
Much more when I could see
your loving eyes staring at me

I'm sorry...for this feeling
It may be so hard to let it go
But I think apart of me
will always be waiting for you

NAGHIHINTAY SAYO

Paano ko nga ba sisimulan

Paano ko nga ba matatanggap

Na hindi na tayo nag-uusap

Gusto pa kitang mayakap

Gusto pa kitang makausap

Gusto pa kitang makasama

Pero ang sakit…

Ang sakit na wala akong magawa

Ang sakit na wala na akong halaga

Ang sakit na naghihintay lang ako

At umaasa …

Umaasa na baka sakaling meron pa

Umaasa na baka sakaling makayap pa

Umaasa na baka sakaling pwede pa

Na maibalik …

Maibalik ang meron tayo noon

Maibalik ang mga kwentuhan

Maibalik ang mga masasayang alaala

Na hanggang ngayon hindi ko pa rin malimutan

Pero andito pa rin ako para sayo 

kahit masakit, andito lang ako

…Naghihintay sayo