Tuesday, April 25, 2017


Life is full of surprises
And yet, we never notice
Our minds fly clueless
Not all memories we can regress

Rare, it is to happen
To have a glimpse of bliss
Its lack of certainty I have proven
Our destiny is God-laden

The moment I saw your face
I long and hoped for a kiss
For at perfection, I have gazed
Sooner or later we would leave this place

The smile you wear is everlasting
Its daintiness I’d surely miss
There’s no more room for asking
Happiness, it would surely bring

All of these, I've said
because I'm sure how true it is
That those which are not expected
Would always leave us elated...

Like you.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017


Naglakad sya nang walang patutunguhan sa eskinitang madilim. Ang dingding ng eskinita ay magaspang, ang ibang parte ay may lumot, ang iba nama'y mga bakas ng mga papel na nkadikit dito dati. Hindi nya alam kung saan patungo ang eskinitang ito. Walang liwanag na naaaninag sa dulo nito. Wala ring ingay na naririnig sa paligid, mga yapak lamang ng kanyang paa at ang pagtibok ng puso nyang nag-aalinlangan. Sa kanyang paglingon, wala ring sumalubong sa kanyang paningin kundi kadiliman at kawalang pag-asa.

Habang dahan-dahan nyang tinatahak ang eskinita ay hinahaplos nya paminsan ang dingding. Kumaskas ang kanyang palad sa isang bahagi ng dingding na may mga nakausling bubog. Wala syang naramdamang sakit ngunit nang tingnan nya ang kanyang palad ay nakita nyang dumudugo ito. Napatigil sya sa paglalakad at tinitigan ang nagdudugong kamay. Pinisil nya ang palad at hinayaang tumulo ang dugo sa kanyang paa. Nang wala nang lumalabas ay pinahid nya na lang ang dugo sa kanyang damit.

Patuloy syang naglakad. May nakasalubong syang mga ipis at daga na tila iniiwasan sya. Sinubukan nyang apakan ang isang ipis at naramdaman nya talagang tumigil ito sa paggapang nang nakita ang anino ng paa nya. Parang pinaubaya na lang ng ipis sa paa ang kanyang kapalaran. Nang maapakan na ito nang tuluyan, tumalsik ang lamang-loob nito sa dagang noo'y kumakaripas ng takbo papalayo.
Wala syang naramdaman sa pag-apak nya ng ipis. Pinahid nya ang paa sa dingding para maalis ang mga natirang kalamnan ng ipis. Sa kanyang paglalakad, naramdaman nyang unti-unting umiinit ang sikat ng araw. Pinagpapawisan na sya nang maigi sa likod at mukha. Hinubad nya ang kanyang damit at pantalon at nakaramdam nang ginhawa. Ang pawis nya'y daliang natuyo at sya'y napangiti dahil dito.

Wala syang pakialam sa patutunguhan. Wala syang pakialam sa mga nkakasalubong. Wala syang pakialam kung ang eskinitang ito ay walang katapusan. Dahil sya ay hindi nakakaramdam ng sakit. At ang mga ipis, daga, at malamang kahit ano pang peste ay takot sa kanya. Hindi sya pinupuna nang kahit sino kahit sya'y naglalakad nang nakahubad. Ang panahon lamang ang kanyang kalaban ngunit madali na itong isipan ng solusyon.

Sa eskinitang ito, siya ay siya. Hindi nya alintana ang sinumang pipigil sa kanyang paglalakad. Masaya sana kung may kasabay syang maglakad, ngunit hindi rin sya magpapapigil sa kalungkutan ng pag-iisa. Siya ay patuloy na maglalakad, patuloy na gagawa ng kanyang landas.

Monday, April 10, 2017


#13ReasonsWhy Rape and suicide are heavy things for any TV series to tackle – and doubly so for any series that is aimed directly at teenagers. But, given the terrible toll that such crimes and tragedies continue to take on teenagers and the people around them, it can surely be argued that young people could benefit from being better informed about them.
  1. #13ReasonsWhy has 13 episodes and I just finished the whole season within the same day, as this is not a series one can easily let go.
  2. Thirteen Reasons Why is extremely tuff viewing at times.
  3. It has something to say about gender imbalances, the damaging power social media has over young people’s lives, and how behind every individuality or audacity is a fragile secret just waiting to be unearthed.
  4. I do have my share of bullying. Whether you're getting pushed around or someone spreads rumors and gossips about you, bullying is no fun at all.
  5. This series pointing out that we put attention on the wrong issues. We put blame in the wrong places. We put bandage on open wounds that aren’t healing and believe we have made a difference. We make suicide a social media thingy instead of figuring out how to stop it from actually happening.
  6. There’s something in this series that will have you remembering to your own unforgettable teenage days.
  7. Be aware and kind to people. You never know how big a part you play in their story.
  8. No matter how many people are around you or in your life, depression can still bring loneliness.
  9. Suicide should never be an option. Never.
  10. You are not alone.
  11. If you want to say something to someone, say it now. If you love someone, say it, say it loud before it’s too late.
  12. The final episode of the season leaves it open-ended in a way and made me think that a second season is definitely a possibility.
  13. This new TV series is worth a binge watch and offers many reasons to watch it.
See for yourself!

Monday, April 3, 2017


My crush slash friend slash brother and soon-to-be recommends this book House Rules to read     to add some Jodi Picoult to my reading list. I just finished the book yesterday morning in total of 20-hours, of course not in one sitting. I make it a habit to read a few pages first thing in the morning, or read a chapter after lunch and at night before falling asleep.

So here's my thoughts about the book :

1.  Emotionally powerful from beginning to end, this novel looks at what it means to be different in our society, how a persons with disabilities affects a family, and how our legal system works well for people who communicate a certain way -- and fails those who don't.

2.  The book does have some great characterization because of its multiple perspectives and you do tend to get into the heads of the character.

3.  Cooking color-coded meals for an eighteen year old is the most cringe-worthy moment. I just can’t.

4.  Three rules that I cannot forget : Clean up your messes, Tell the truth and Take care of your brother.

5.  This was a great way to learn about Asperger's or  people with special needs if you don't know too much about it.

6.  Spoiler. The sexual and romantic relationship between Emma and Oliver.

7.  I remember my Mother in a character of Emma, a single parent who invests almost all of her time and energy trying to insure that her son has a chance to enjoy a fulfilling life.

8.  I almost did throw the book against the wall to get through the last few chapters.

9.  Power Rangers was mentioned in one chapter. Wala lang, Natuwa lang ako. He-he  :-)

10. Picoult used cliffhanger writing technique which the ending left you guessing about will happen, I don't know if she did the same thing to her other works but I love it. Stellar technique.

House Rules is tough to read at times     near to the end of the novel, I think it's good read and I highly recommend it.

In support for World Autism Awareness Month.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017


I really loved this TV series, so much so that I established a personal record of binge watched hours in a row for an entire series. This is an addition on my Binge-watching list. Yes, I am serial watcher (pun intended). Here's why :

  1. Claire Foy appears perfectly comfortable in her role as The Queen.
  2. The wedding and coronation.
  3. The script and cinematography.
  4. Princess Margaret and Peter Townsend's forbidden love.
  5. The hatred of the members of this family is pure fuel for my interest to the royal family.
  6. Decision making between love and loyalty.
  7. It really is never too late to learn something new (Episode 7)
  8. Embrace , welcome every moment and take charge (Episode 8)
  9. The Crown is certainly worthy of a watch.
  10. I can’t wait for Season 2!

Tuesday, March 14, 2017


I'm just stressed over everything in my life.

I am so worried about everything.  

I just feel like I have so much on my shoulders.

I have come close to bursting out in tears a few times today.

I thought this would be a good place to talk.

I don't have many close friends where I live.

I don’t feel sharing it with my family.

I feel more comfortable sharing things here but not in detail though.

I just feel sad, depressed and worried.

I am totally stressed out.

Shit happens in life.

I want a halo-halo right now.

Sunday, March 12, 2017


I love window seat.

I love sitting on a window seat or in any means of transport and even at home. I love to look out the window and see what is below me or thinking over something of something. Yes, I love to contemplate. Intriguingly, I feel the same when I am walking alone in the street. Whatever thing that creates an impression of you moving at a reasonable pace where you can feel the sense of motion makes me feel this way.

Why? I believe the motion reminds us an evanescent universe. Nothing in the world is permanent. That things change. As you move forward, you get a sense of outside world being left behind. Our mind instantaneously correlates this to memories or anything we have left behind.

Memories are melancholy and quixotic.

Although that moment in the past was not-so-special, whenever you would recall about it, you would see it as being happier … more contented than it actually was. This is why we crave things from the past. We miss things.  By surrendering to such a craving we can visit our past, and re-live feelings that may bring their own special healing moment.

From those memories, we bound on to our rational sojourns exploring the meaning of life as we realize that everything is impermanent.

On air travel particularly, looking at the vast open vistas makes us realize how small we are.

It’s all a matter of relativity.

I find this phrase 'walk away from' to be rather appropriate. You are displacing air, you are making a new situation and something is changing. The minute we sense that we involve ourselves in change, is sometimes extraordinarily powerful.

But you know what, one time I was sitting on the bus, I was experiencing these sentiments, mulling over life philosophy and what-not.


The whole feeling, is a bit uncomfortable.

I realized that if I am sitting backwards to the motion of the bus. 

I feel I was left behind.

Thursday, March 9, 2017


How do I start this? Hmmm... I will make this as light and short as possible. Let's see if I can do that. Oh-kay! I am already 33 years old which I won't deny it. At this age? I am still a BIG fan of anime or any animated series/movies. An avid fan-fiction reader and an active participant in the world of fandom. YES that's the other side of ME aside from being EMO on this blog ...or maybe not?

ANIME is not a cartoon or just a typical show that induce laughter and always a happy ending. Then again it doesn’t always follow a general concept and doesn’t always have a happy ending. BUT teach us to know the value of life and appreciate it while we can. Sounds... EMO? I know right! Certainly we do get any lessons on life from watching it ...at least for me. Some lessons can be very nasty and fear-provoking while others help you build character and to strive forward. 

Here’s a list of anime(s) that I have watched not so recently and you probably haven’t seen: 


1.        BIG HERO 6 – Of course! I have to say that this might be one of my favorite Disney films yet. Amidst the action, combating for justice, and in quest of revenge, I would be presented with raw emotion, loss, sheer happiness and seeing a little bit of myself within the scenes of the movie all the time I mean, this motion picture was outstandingly good, family-focused and stimulating. I cried. Yeah Seriously. Well I don’t have a “brother” and I’ve been longing to have one. Hiro faces a horrible loss. Loss of his brother. Perhaps you will face some kind of tragedy in your life and your friends will be what get you through it.  Baymax – who need to be told he isn't needed anymore. Do you know how that feels to hear you are not needed and shutdown by someone you care about? Hiro wanted to use Baymax to destroy, but that was not what his brother created him for. He ends up doing what is right. I am glad he did. Doing the right thing will always feel you better. I love Baymax so much, I wish I can have one in my life. Someone who will take care of me. Charaught! I will post a separate entry all about Baymax. Close to the end of the movie, Hiro finds out who it was that caused his brother’s death and is given a chance to finish off his adversary to get even. Reasonably Hiro is angry and in pain and all he wants at this moment is to inflict that pain back on this man. Luckily, his friends arrive just in time to rescue both of them. They save the man out of harm’s way and they save Hiro from killing him. It’s a rather dark scene for a Disney movie, but the status quo for comic book storyline. It takes some compelling, but in the end, Hiro’s friends are able to get through to him that even if he was vindicated in killing the man, he wouldn’t feel any better. In fact, he would feel worse. This is where true friendship comes in. As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend (Proverbs 27:17) and sometimes saves lives.


2.        THE GARDEN OF WORDSEverything about this short film is a MASTERPIECE. From the plot to the main characters and every details of the animation worth a thousand words. The 46 minutes I'd feel at a loss for words. I was left speechless by watching the rain falls. A simple story of love with a lot of "hugot" that I can so relate. The story is about two people, a troubled teenager and a young woman in an identity crisis. Their paths cross each other one rainy day in the garden. Despite age gap, they begin to see each other only when it rains and deepen their relationship. Well, Age doesn't really matter. Maturity's really matters in relationships. Oh I had three but failed relationships or I would say maybe it was good while it lasted. Segue, Here is one of my favorite line in this film "It's okay, we're human, after all. We've all got our little quirks" I am guilty of this one. Yeah, it’s okay to be wrong we are only human but it’s not okay to be wrong about the same thing over and over again? I always end up the same thing over and over. Kailan ba ako matututo ? But you know what keeps me going? Continuous learning is a process of life. The day we stop learning new things it would be the end of life.  RAIN is the main subject in this short film. It succeeds in making the appropriate tone for the film, ensuring that there is more here to experience than the visuals. Sometimes we feel empty and that we feel the need for someone to fill that void but the truth is, we don’t need someone to fill that space. You can’t truly love another person if you don’t love yourself enuf. That hollow feeling is borne with insecurities and lack of affirmation of self-love. You need to overcome that. Fight it! Get rid of your thoughts of emotional independence!  There is so much in this world to be happy about. It’s normal to fall down but you must rise even if you do this over and over. What matter is you accept the wrong things you’ve done and you don’t condone (but forgive) yourself for doing them.


3.        TROLLHUNTERS – Sprinkle How To Train Your Dragon, a dash of Pan's Labyrinth and a pinch of Spider-Man on your favorite à la carte and you have Trollhunters. Sounds fun? YES IT IS!  I just finished it last night the first season with 26 amazing action-packed episodes. It combines the FUN and ADVENTURE. What I love about this series is the teamwork. How friends help each other. But for some circumstances, sometimes you need to do it alone. By the way, I can't wait for the second season.  

WAIT, I just realized that I could make an entry of each shows as one blog. I will do that next time So, I'll  stop here.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

3674 Miles

Sending a letter is the next best thing to showing up personally at someone’s door.

Ink from your pen touches the stationary,

your fingers touch the paper,

your saliva seals the envelope.

Something tangible from your world travels through machines and hands,

and deposits itself in another’s mailbox.

Your letter is then carried inside as an invited guest.

The paper that was sitting on your desk, now sits on another’s.

The recipient handles the paper that you handled.

Letters create a connection that modern, impersonal forms of communication will never approach.

I just did. 

Ten pages.


Wednesday, February 22, 2017


I realize that letting go the person you love is proper.

Not because you're giving up on how you feel about a certain person.

It is sometimes just choosing to love that person from afar to save yourself from further pain.


Sunday, February 19, 2017


These past few weeks has been very stressful as the one man team at work. It all started when my team-partner was fired last year. PG! Why are you doing this to me? #birolangpo  Yeah I know how lucky I am that all eyes are on me. 
So I’ve been doing all these things alone since he left ( my team partner ha! #defensivelang ) . Well ganoon naman talaga kapag naiwan ka mag-isa, napakahirap sa simula #hugot It was very hard at first but I am getting used to it day by day.  Nasasanay na din ako. #hugotulit
It isn't easy to stay positive through this, but I am trying to remain positive. Most of my co-workers are miserable. 

The good news is I am back on track with all my exercise routine this week. I was so tired the other day but I made myself get down on that floor and do my some exercises.
And my sleep has been horrible. I have laid awake trying to figure out some issues and not able to shut my mind off. Plus, I am getting weird dreams like me being escalated by the boss and all these shitty things about work. But I also had nice dreams, too, with that special person. That person who I haven't met yet. Actually palage sya sa panaginip ko... That's a good thing right? 
Life is tuff. 
There is always something to be grateful for.

Monday, February 13, 2017


Since, I'll be spending this Hearts Day alone.

So what am I doing for myself this Valentine's Day?

I am celebrating ME.
Appreciating ME. Appreciating YOU.
I'll be doing whatever my inner wisdom
     tells me it needs this day to show LOVE for MYSELF .
And we all have to find something in life
     to be THANKFUL for every single day.

Happy Self-Love and Appreciation Day!


Sunday, January 29, 2017


It's like music to my ears.

Each sweet word that's spoken tells me how you feel.

Is this love I feel inside?

A gentle touch and then a kiss. I crave these things you know.

To be the one you wake up to and who watches you while you sleep.

Each time I hear your voice my heart skips a beat.

The tune it plays is meant for you.

Because each time I hear your voice it's music to my ears.

Monday, January 23, 2017

I Think I'm Falling...

Everyday I think of you.
Every morning I wake with you on my mind.
Every night I dream of you.
Time after time after time.
And I think I'm falling in love.

You once only thought of me as a friend.
Now I hope your thoughts of me will never end.
I wait for you to make you move.
I seem to wait so long.
I'll be here patiently waiting on.
And I think I'm falling in love.

At first the thought of love just made me cry.
Because I've been hurt before.
But I just can't resist these feelings anymore.

Because I think I'm falling in love.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Here I Am

we have our ups and downs.

sometimes strong, sometimes weak.

then there comes a point when we just have to break down and everyone doesn’t want to go there.

somehow staying focused is the key. not letting go of the child in us and get to see the better side.

all that I could think of for now is…

to make something that is failing become strong and successful again.

to make skin / hair look healthy again

to make someone feel healthy again.

thus, giving myself, someone… a new lease of life.