Friday, May 12, 2017

W A L K A W A Y

He cried. He is crying. He will cry.

Talking to himself during stressful moments became helpful. He would always recite his mantra to help him soothe his mood. "I am my own captain. I am my own captain." He also shared his thoughts with his pillows, who were so sympathetic that they let him punch them when he couldn't control his anger anymore. All of a sudden, he was alone in the world. And all the things he used to know, all the things he used to have, are now walking away from him. Those ungrateful things never looked back. They just walked away. 

He never wanted to be alone. It was like suicide to live his complicated life with only himself and lifeless plump pillows to talk to. He used to be the happiest person in the world, laughing over simple things and smiling every time he wakes up. He used to have that unique glow that was very contagious and he made everyone so cheerful. But now he was enveloped with gloom, sulking inside his room whenever he is idle. His world seemed to stop revolving, as if his orbit had a clot and he didn't know where to go anymore.

He told himself that it will all get better in time. Yes, he will wait for fresh wounds to heal again. And he will wait for his world to find a new orbit, a new solar system, a new galaxy. Will the things walk back to him again? He didn't care. He will wait for new things to come. And he will embrace these things with open arms. He will embrace them tight enough to keep them secure but loose enough for them to have their own space to grow. And if time comes that these new things wanted to walk away too, he was now ready to let go. There may be wounds, but old scars will make him stronger.

5 comments:

  1. I feel you. This is a good piece of writing expressing one's own loneliness perhaps? Yung may unimaginable pain... excruciating. Ang lungkot but hopeful. Nice.

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    Replies
    1. Hello Marcus! Welcome to my blog. Welcome to my world =)
      Nakakatuwa lang isipin na may mga bagong mukhang dumadalaw dito sa pahina na ito.
      Thank you! This is my way of expressing my innermost thoughts & feelings. Talking to the universe; Somehow, I found relief.

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  2. Let it all out :) We are here for you :)

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    Replies
    1. some things are better left unsaid... =)

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  3. My hope is for you to one day get past all these, look back, and smile, instead.

    Hang in there.

    I just be here, sitting by you.

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