Tuesday, March 14, 2017

HALO-HALO

I'm just stressed over everything in my life.

I am so worried about everything.  

I just feel like I have so much on my shoulders.

I have come close to bursting out in tears a few times today.

I thought this would be a good place to talk.

I don't have many close friends where I live.

I don’t feel sharing it with my family.

I feel more comfortable sharing things here but not in detail though.

I just feel sad, depressed and worried.

I am totally stressed out.

Shit happens in life.

I want a halo-halo right now.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

WINDOW SEAT

I love window seat.

I love sitting on a window seat or in any means of transport and even at home. I love to look out the window and see what is below me or thinking over something of something. Yes, I love to contemplate. Intriguingly, I feel the same when I am walking alone in the street. Whatever thing that creates an impression of you moving at a reasonable pace where you can feel the sense of motion makes me feel this way.

Why? I believe the motion reminds us an evanescent universe. Nothing in the world is permanent. That things change. As you move forward, you get a sense of outside world being left behind. Our mind instantaneously correlates this to memories or anything we have left behind.


Memories are melancholy and quixotic.

Although that moment in the past was not-so-special, whenever you would recall about it, you would see it as being happier … more contented than it actually was. This is why we crave things from the past. We miss things.  By surrendering to such a craving we can visit our past, and re-live feelings that may bring their own special healing moment.

From those memories, we bound on to our rational sojourns exploring the meaning of life as we realize that everything is impermanent.

On air travel particularly, looking at the vast open vistas makes us realize how small we are.

It’s all a matter of relativity.

I find this phrase 'walk away from' to be rather appropriate. You are displacing air, you are making a new situation and something is changing. The minute we sense that we involve ourselves in change, is sometimes extraordinarily powerful.

But you know what, one time I was sitting on the bus, I was experiencing these sentiments, mulling over life philosophy and what-not.

BUT.

The whole feeling, is a bit uncomfortable.


I realized that if I am sitting backwards to the motion of the bus. 

I feel I was left behind.

Thursday, March 9, 2017

A N I M E


How do I start this? Hmmm... I will make this as light and short as possible. Let's see if I can do that. Oh-kay! I am already 33 years old which I won't deny it. At this age? I am still a BIG fan of anime or any animated series/movies. An avid fan-fiction reader and an active participant in the world of fandom. YES that's the other side of ME aside from being EMO on this blog ...or maybe not?

ANIME is not a cartoon or just a typical show that induce laughter and always a happy ending. Then again it doesn’t always follow a general concept and doesn’t always have a happy ending. BUT teach us to know the value of life and appreciate it while we can. Sounds... EMO? I know right! Certainly we do get any lessons on life from watching it ...at least for me. Some lessons can be very nasty and fear-provoking while others help you build character and to strive forward. 

Here’s a list of anime(s) that I have watched not so recently and you probably haven’t seen: 
SPOILER COMBO ALERT! 

BIG HERO 6


1.        BIG HERO 6 – Of course! I have to say that this might be one of my favorite Disney films yet. Amidst the action, combating for justice, and in quest of revenge, I would be presented with raw emotion, loss, sheer happiness and seeing a little bit of myself within the scenes of the movie all the time I mean, this motion picture was outstandingly good, family-focused and stimulating. I cried. Yeah Seriously. Well I don’t have a “brother” and I’ve been longing to have one. Hiro faces a horrible loss. Loss of his brother. Perhaps you will face some kind of tragedy in your life and your friends will be what get you through it.  Baymax – who need to be told he isn't needed anymore. Do you know how that feels to hear you are not needed and shutdown by someone you care about? Hiro wanted to use Baymax to destroy, but that was not what his brother created him for. He ends up doing what is right. I am glad he did. Doing the right thing will always feel you better. I love Baymax so much, I wish I can have one in my life. Someone who will take care of me. Charaught! I will post a separate entry all about Baymax. Close to the end of the movie, Hiro finds out who it was that caused his brother’s death and is given a chance to finish off his adversary to get even. Reasonably Hiro is angry and in pain and all he wants at this moment is to inflict that pain back on this man. Luckily, his friends arrive just in time to rescue both of them. They save the man out of harm’s way and they save Hiro from killing him. It’s a rather dark scene for a Disney movie, but the status quo for comic book storyline. It takes some compelling, but in the end, Hiro’s friends are able to get through to him that even if he was vindicated in killing the man, he wouldn’t feel any better. In fact, he would feel worse. This is where true friendship comes in. As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend (Proverbs 27:17) and sometimes saves lives.


THE GARDEN OF WORDS


2.        THE GARDEN OF WORDSEverything about this short film is a MASTERPIECE. From the plot to the main characters and every details of the animation worth a thousand words. The 46 minutes I'd feel at a loss for words. I was left speechless by watching the rain falls. A simple story of love with a lot of "hugot" that I can so relate. The story is about two people, a troubled teenager and a young woman in an identity crisis. Their paths cross each other one rainy day in the garden. Despite age gap, they begin to see each other only when it rains and deepen their relationship. Well, Age doesn't really matter. Maturity's really matters in relationships. Oh I had three but failed relationships or I would say maybe it was good while it lasted. Segue, Here is one of my favorite line in this film "It's okay, we're human, after all. We've all got our little quirks" I am guilty of this one. Yeah, it’s okay to be wrong we are only human but it’s not okay to be wrong about the same thing over and over again? I always end up the same thing over and over. Kailan ba ako matututo ? But you know what keeps me going? Continuous learning is a process of life. The day we stop learning new things it would be the end of life.  RAIN is the main subject in this short film. It succeeds in making the appropriate tone for the film, ensuring that there is more here to experience than the visuals. Sometimes we feel empty and that we feel the need for someone to fill that void but the truth is, we don’t need someone to fill that space. You can’t truly love another person if you don’t love yourself enuf. That hollow feeling is borne with insecurities and lack of affirmation of self-love. You need to overcome that. Fight it! Get rid of your thoughts of emotional independence!  There is so much in this world to be happy about. It’s normal to fall down but you must rise even if you do this over and over. What matter is you accept the wrong things you’ve done and you don’t condone (but forgive) yourself for doing them.


TROLLHUNTERS


3.        TROLLHUNTERS – Sprinkle How To Train Your Dragon, a dash of Pan's Labyrinth and a pinch of Spider-Man on your favorite à la carte and you have Trollhunters. Sounds fun? YES IT IS!  I just finished it last night the first season with 26 amazing action-packed episodes. It combines the FUN and ADVENTURE. What I love about this series is the teamwork. How friends help each other. But for some circumstances, sometimes you need to do it alone. By the way, I can't wait for the second season.  

WAIT, I just realized that I could make an entry of each shows as one blog. I will do that next time So, I'll  stop here.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

3674 Miles

Sending a letter is the next best thing to showing up personally at someone’s door.

Ink from your pen touches the stationary,

your fingers touch the paper,

your saliva seals the envelope.

Something tangible from your world travels through machines and hands,

and deposits itself in another’s mailbox.

Your letter is then carried inside as an invited guest.

The paper that was sitting on your desk, now sits on another’s.

The recipient handles the paper that you handled.

Letters create a connection that modern, impersonal forms of communication will never approach.

I just did. 

Ten pages.

#snailmail

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

#LettingGo

I realize that letting go the person you love is proper.

Not because you're giving up on how you feel about a certain person.

It is sometimes just choosing to love that person from afar to save yourself from further pain.

#lettinggo
#charaught
#loveyourselfmore

Sunday, February 19, 2017

S T R E S S

These past few weeks has been very stressful as the one man team at work. It all started when my team-partner was fired last year. PG! Why are you doing this to me? #birolangpo  Yeah I know how lucky I am that all eyes are on me. 
So I’ve been doing all these things alone since he left ( my team partner ha! #defensivelang ) . Well ganoon naman talaga kapag naiwan ka mag-isa, napakahirap sa simula #hugot It was very hard at first but I am getting used to it day by day.  Nasasanay na din ako. #hugotulit
It isn't easy to stay positive through this, but I am trying to remain positive. Most of my co-workers are miserable. 

The good news is I am back on track with all my exercise routine this week. I was so tired the other day but I made myself get down on that floor and do my some exercises.
And my sleep has been horrible. I have laid awake trying to figure out some issues and not able to shut my mind off. Plus, I am getting weird dreams like me being escalated by the boss and all these shitty things about work. But I also had nice dreams, too, with that special person. That person who I haven't met yet. Actually palage sya sa panaginip ko... That's a good thing right? 
Life is tuff. 
But. 
There is always something to be grateful for.

Monday, February 13, 2017

#AppreciateYourselfMore

Since, I'll be spending this Hearts Day alone.

So what am I doing for myself this Valentine's Day?

I am celebrating ME.
Appreciating ME. Appreciating YOU.
I'll be doing whatever my inner wisdom
     tells me it needs this day to show LOVE for MYSELF .
And we all have to find something in life
     to be THANKFUL for every single day.

Happy Self-Love and Appreciation Day!

#LoveYourself
#LoveYourselfMore
#BeGratefulEveryday
#HappyValentines


Sunday, January 29, 2017

M.A.D.

It's like music to my ears.

Each sweet word that's spoken tells me how you feel.

Is this love I feel inside?

A gentle touch and then a kiss. I crave these things you know.

To be the one you wake up to and who watches you while you sleep.

Each time I hear your voice my heart skips a beat.

The tune it plays is meant for you.

Because each time I hear your voice it's music to my ears.

Monday, January 23, 2017

I Think I'm Falling...

Everyday I think of you.
Every morning I wake with you on my mind.
Every night I dream of you.
Time after time after time.
And I think I'm falling in love.

You once only thought of me as a friend.
Now I hope your thoughts of me will never end.
I wait for you to make you move.
I seem to wait so long.
I'll be here patiently waiting on.
And I think I'm falling in love.

At first the thought of love just made me cry.
Because I've been hurt before.
But I just can't resist these feelings anymore.

Because I think I'm falling in love.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

Here I Am

we have our ups and downs.

sometimes strong, sometimes weak.

then there comes a point when we just have to break down and everyone doesn’t want to go there.

somehow staying focused is the key. not letting go of the child in us and get to see the better side.

all that I could think of for now is…

to make something that is failing become strong and successful again.

to make skin / hair look healthy again

to make someone feel healthy again.

thus, giving myself, someone… a new lease of life.

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

YES, I am OK now

I don’t usually write about really personal stuff here. Actually I always do but in an indirect way. I usually try to spread the positive vibes and all the things going on around me. What’s going on in my life right now? After what I’ve gone through over the past month, I’ve realized that pain and suffering are part of the human experience.  Everyone goes through love and failure and sooner or later awakens to a new experience of life.

The past week has felt like my mind shutdown. And no, I wasn’t on some kind of drugs or what. I was going through an epic breakup. Yes.  It’s been one of the most painful and crushing experiences of my life thus far. And I’m surviving.

When an important relationship comes to an end, whether both people knew it was coming or not, it’s a huge change and loss. Especially if you live together. It feels like life as you know it is being ripped out from under you. It feels like you have to create an entirely new life. You want things to be back to normal. It’s a foolishly, puzzling array of emotions. 

When we decided officially to end the relationship, the first few days were insanely painful. Painful doesn’t even describe what I was feeling. I was in total denial and shock that it was actually over.


So listen. I’ll stop there.

BUT.

One thing is for sure,  I love myself. I love myself more.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Loving & Letting Go

Love will always be the sweetest feeling you could feel. When you’re in love, the world is always bright and life is so light to carry. Everything is so easy and there is always a certain glow in your eyes. When you’re in love, you don’t seem to care for the deficiency of the person you love. It is always a great feeling that you wish would be forever.

However, there is always the risk of falling in love. One risk would be getting hurt. And a big part of getting hurt is letting go. However, if you look at the good side of it, getting hurt is a way to mold your personality. Letting go not just of your ill-feelings but the person whom you offered love and care is very much painful. Nevertheless, you might not know it, the feeling of getting hurt is molding you to become a stronger person, a better person, a more mature person.

I do have my share of loving and letting go. When I look back those days when I was so in love and it turn out that I have to let go, I would now smile and couldn’t help but be grateful to the persons who caused me pains and aches. Without them hurting me, I would have not survived the storms in my life that could have made me crumble like a helpless uprooted tree. Although there are events which you wish to have not took place, but still remains the fact that there are things which really might not meant to be.

After all, as the line of song goes, “what matters most, is that we loved at all.”

Monday, August 15, 2016

Hello

After years of being inactive, I've decided to write again.

It's been two years. Really? It felt longer.

So I shall start to write again, not only for you who read my post, but for me as well.

I have so many pent-up rants in me that I just have to let go.

I am to educate primarily myself.

But if you learn something in the process, that's two claps for me!


So off I go for lunch.

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

FRIENDSHIP


If you are looking for a typical parabola of excitement in a film, prepare yourself for a big difference in Friendship.

Starring Mario Maurer (Love of Siam) and Apinya Sakuljaroensuk (character Mituna), with a fantastic support from a very good looking young actor, character Lam, the movie depicts the journey of love you make when you are not looking for one and eventually finding the greatest love of your life.

I asked for conflict when the movie started to roll so many teenybopper scenes in the middle; I did not expect that the script would give me all the conflicts all at once! 

Beautifully narrated, script great, cinematography astonishing and cast well-chosen. 

How does love happen?

How many things, people and consequences have to collide and meet before you see the spark?

When do you know that spark happens?

Whom would you tell?

How do you keep the love burning? A year or so? A lifetime?

Would you wait for a dramatic moment to happen or grab every moment you have?

Does the heart say everything it wants to say?

Does life deliberately stir things to happen and undo any resolve?

Or does life deliberately stir things to happen to weave more out of itself?

Do we love to beget love or do we love just because we know love actually happens?

When does love learn to let go? In parting? In goodbye? In death?

Does the heart really remember memories of our emotions?


When the film started rolling its credits, I felt so heavy in the heart that I couldn’t let it just go. The ripples of emotions it created made me run to my friends (whom I saw the film with) and ask a lot of questions as to why such things happened.

The film’s end is not revealed in the traditional way. This part is a must-see.

This Thai film truly spun a good story creating massive and elaborate embroideries of questions. Questions I surely want to pursue knowing. 

But the premise of knowing this still holds to be elusive.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Edol



He paused and looked at me. 
Shook his head ok as if to say he knew it was time. 
I still cry when I picture that image.  
I was holding his hand when he took his last breath. 
I still thank God for that. 
His chest puffed up... and his soul ascended. 
I love you, Papa.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

LDR - LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP


NOT let “distance” be the excuse to end the relationship. As the saying goes, if there’s a will there’s a way.

There also has to be TRUST in the relationship. 

The benefit of being friends for a long time before distance is a factor.

Communication is also important. 

That doesn't mean calling each other every hour or demand text update on whereabouts or who you're with.

Everyone needs space but not too much.  

Everyone is busy but you shouldn't make her/him feel that you don't have time. A simple text or a one-minute-call will let her/him know that you are thinking of her/him too.

You don't take communication for granted

Others also need to realize LDRs affect more than just the couple involved – family members and friends are affected too. 

Relationship will grow from strength to strength if you put in the effort. You'll truly treasure the little things and it will make you appreciate your other half even more. 

You might be jealous of others enjoying an standard relationship but if you make it through, others will look at yours with envy at the couple who truly made it through thick and thin.

BUT not all long distance relationship survive.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Three Days After

Everyone prays to find the love that'll change their life
A love that will give answer to their questions
certainty to their doubts
I prayed and I found you

I looked in your eyes and I saw all of my dreams coming true
The moments we have shared seems never ending
until you let go of my hand
the hand you once held on to

It was once a perfect love 
a love that brightens up my life
It was once a perfect love 
a love that I thought was forever
It was once a perfect love
But that love is now just a memory of my past

How I wish I can make you stay 
so I can make you see how much you mean to me
How I wish I can hold you closer 
so I can make you feel the beating of my heart
How I wish our perfect love didnt end

The sun may go on shining 
the world may keep on turning 
as the river flows 
my tears won't fade away 
for my life will never be the same 

because I lost my perfect love

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Wait

I’m admittedly terrible at this one. 

I’m perpetually in a hurry to “get it done.” 

But it’s amazing how different things can look from one day to the next. 

Maybe even from one hour to the next. 

I can't tell you the number of times I could have done something better by just practicing this simple principle. 

Wait.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

#ThirtyOne

31 Things I am Grateful For on my 31st.

Today is my 31st birthday. It has been an amazing ride but looking back on it, I am most grateful for the little things in my life. Here are 31 of them that bring a smile to my face on my 31st and make me me excited to life 31 more.



1. Sunrise
2. My Mom's unconditional love
3. My Sibling's courage and compassionate
4. My Dad's facial expression when he is cracking a joke
5. My Hairdresser who always make me look good
6. Going to the movies
7. Good friends
8. Breaking things
9. Cycling at night
10. Rejection
11. Learning about businesses and with my Mentors
12. Good morning Good night greet
13. Leche Flan / Fiesta Float
14. Cleaning toilet
15. Listening to the barking dog
16. Talking to taxi drivers
17. Hot noodles
18. Access to the Internet
19. Roomie always wakes me up in the morning
20. Taking selfie with friends
21. Being wrong
22. Napping on the bus
23. Attending parties
24. Reading nasty tweets on my twitter timeline
25. Small talks
26. Working late on a tough challenge with the team at the office
27. Dinner with friends
28. Cold shower
29. Walking in the park or on a busy street
20. Doing math in my head
31. I just resigned from my job.


Thursday, February 27, 2014

Blank


When you go on a date it can be handy to have a few conversation topics on standby just in case the conversation comes to a grinding halt. 

Nothing feels more uncomfortable than the conversation running dry and the more you desperately try to think of something original to say the more your mind seems to go blank. 

It is kind of like taking an exam at school, you know all about the topics that will be in the test but once you sit down in the classroom to take the exam, your mind goes blank but the moment the exam is over and the pressure is off, all that information comes flooding back into your head.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Realizations in 2013


Make FRIENDS.

You are what you do - not what you say. 
Actions and  words should not be mutually exclusive.

Have a firm handshake.
More that just a greeting. It is also a message about your personality and confidence level.

SMILE always. =)

Never interrupt another person when they are speaking. 
Conversations aren’t a contest.

READ.

Be thankful and appreciate what you have.

PRAY.

It's really never too late to learn something new.

TIME is the greatest gift that you can give to someone.



I know it sounds cliche, but those are a few of the things that I realized. I hope you year was full of realizations. Have a happy and colorful New Year! 

Sunday, December 29, 2013

12/19 UPDATE - New Year's Resolution

An overdue post.

DISCIPLINE. That’s how things should be. So that's how I'll make it.
  • I should scour the whole world. Finish off all the places to be at. I’ll become the backpacker I’ve always wanted to be.
  • I'll buy a new Laptop. 
  • Learn how to ride a bicycle.
  • I'll start getting organized. With my work planner, and personal organizer, this should be a bit easier. I'll save time, make time and use time.
  • Find a new job, hopefully. Hello Abroad! Ha-ha
  • I'll start studying some recipes. Practice cooking. I should have cooked all the recipes in my mind by end of the year.
  • Quit DRINKING.
  • I'll not buy a phone. I'm happy with my current one, and I'll not fall for advancements or anything. Hello iPhone 5S.
  • Spend more time with my family and friends
  • I'll limit my rice and start eating healthy. At least it's a conscious effort.
  • After months of thinking about it, I have decided to start working out. But not make an obsession of it.
  • I’ll get back to reading. At least 1 book a month. I’ll re-establish book hour. I can do this.
  • Although difficult, I’ll continue saving money, and make sure not to spend it.
  • More SLEEP!
  • I’ll stop drinking coffee
  • Remain being the kid that I am. Keep my perspectives and perceptions fresh. Continue in being naively unprejudiced. And let this point mature. I have a feeling this will be most useful this year.
  • Learn something NEW.
  • SHARE my Blessings and Help others.
  • ENJOYING LIFE MORE.


HAPPY NEW YEAR 
2014! =)

Monday, December 2, 2013

Quarter Life Crisis

It feels like any other time travel.

You get back on your feet. Feel your limbs get back to work, your body warming up and wonder where you are. And where your clothes are.

And then, you feel the rush of cold wind greet your face. You clasp both your arms because the cold is too much. A tear traces it's way to your cheek down to the side of your lips. Your eyesight clouded. The more fear you feel.

`Where am I?` is the least you could spare your intellect. A question would be the most logical and only thing you could think of right now. You just have to accept it. You're lost. Somehow.

`How did I get here?` more questions. 

The saddest part of traveling through time is that you never know where you might end up, or how did you end up being there. It's a fascination with people like me how you cope up with being random. Then it hits me. 

I examine my nakedness and try to give a guesstimate of where in time I've been hurled to. Scars, facial hair, eye bags, penis size. I'm somewhere in my late twenties. I haven't had the knee scar yet.

I spread my arms, lifting my face up in the cloudless afternoon sky and feel the energy of youth. I am young again. 

And I am restless again.

The thoughts came rushing in as the continual cold scamper through my skin getting in, longing for my insides, longing to infect it with the cold. I am young. I am restless. I am energetic. I am cold. I am lost.

Then as if time strips me of wisdom, that I acquired through those excruciating hurdles of life, I don't know what I want. I am still standing here in the middle of nowhere, mosquitoes feasting on my blood. I am still standing here but I cannot find myself anymore.

Again.

I thought it was just my stomach complaining. A grumble in the middle of this juvenile flexible body. Starvation. But no. As I instinctively clutched my center, the hole pulled me in, turning me inside out. Then I feel for the floor.

It feels like any other time travel.

You get back on your feet. Feel your limbs get back to work, your body warming up and wonder where you are. And where your clothes are.


You decided long ago not to keep track of time. There is no right time anyway.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

I Started a Joke



Admittedly I didn't see the show, I cannot comment on the context of the joke. 

But based on what I've read, obviously the subject matter is a serious one. 

Having said that, anyone who's been raped will not find it funny. 

He or she will find it offensive. 

Women who've been subjected to sexual assault will not find it funny. 

Anyone who's been bullied in one form or another will not find it funny either. 

True, it was just a joke and it was all for laughs. 

But like any form of entertainment, comedy can be in bad taste or good taste. 

I think this one falls in the former. 

What saves the comedian on this issue is that there is free speech in this country.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Law

Every law is crafted for a special reason that aims the betterment of the general public, the public interest, or the common good.

However, the provisions of the law are rendered meaningless if the public themselves, much more the students of law, are unaware of the significance of the provisions of the law and how they work.

The reason why some laws failed to achieve their objectives is the poor enforcement and lack of awareness of the people, who are supposed to know them specifically, members of the legal community.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Red

How would you describe red to a blind person?

It is impossible for somebody to describe color red to a blind person. A blind person could hardly identify what color red is for he is deprived of visual perception.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

rules

imagine a world where rules where never broken.

we would be living in darkness and walking everywhere we went to hunt our food.

we would have a life expectancy of say 48 years.

a thoughtful prudent rule breaker is responsible for nearly every bit of progress ever made!