YES, I AM OK NOW

I don’t usually write about personal stuff here. Actually I always do but in an indirect way. I usually try to spread the positive vibes and all the things going on around me. What’s going on in my life right now? After what I’ve gone through over the past month, I’ve realized that pain and suffering are part of the human experience.  Everyone goes through love and failure and sooner or later awakens to a new experience of life.

The past week has felt like my mind shutdown. And no, I wasn’t on some kind of drugs or what. I was going through a breakup. Yes,  It’s been one of the most painful and crushing experiences of my life thus far. And I’m surviving.

When an important relationship comes to an end, whether both people knew it was coming or not, it’s a huge change and loss. Especially if you live together. It feels like life as you know it is being ripped out from under you. It feels like you have to create an entirely new life. You want things to be back to normal. It’s a foolishly, puzzling array of emotions. 

When we decided officially to end the relationship, the first few days were insanely painful. Painful doesn’t even describe what I was feeling. I was in total denial and shock that it was actually over.

So listen. I’ll stop there.

BUT.

One thing is for sure,  I love myself. I love myself more.

LOVING & LETTING GO

Love will always be the sweetest feeling you could feel. When you’re in love, the world is always bright and life is so light to carry. Everything is so easy and there is always a certain glow in your eyes. When you’re in love, you don’t seem to care for the deficiency of the person you love. It is always a great feeling that you wish would be forever.

However, there is always the risk of falling in love. One risk would be getting hurt. And a big part of getting hurt is letting go. However, if you look at the good side of it, getting hurt is a way to mold your personality. Letting go not just of your ill-feelings but the person whom you offered love and care is very much painful. Nevertheless, you might not know it, the feeling of getting hurt is molding you to become a stronger person, a better person, a more mature person.

I do have my share of loving and letting go. When I look back those days when I was so in love and it turn out that I have to let go, I would now smile and couldn’t help but be grateful to the persons who caused me pains and aches. Without them hurting me, I would have not survived the storms in my life that could have made me crumble like a helpless uprooted tree. Although there are events which you wish to have not took place, but still remains the fact that there are things which really might not meant to be.

After all, as the line of song goes, “what matters most, is that we loved at all.”

Hello

After years of being inactive, I've decided to write again.

It's been two years. Really? It felt longer.

So I shall start to write again, not only for you who read my post, but for me as well.

I have so many pent-up rants in me that I just have to let go.

I am to educate primarily myself.

But if you learn something in the process, that's two claps for me!

So off I go for lunch.