편지 혼자

Looked away, Locked the door
Left the lights off been here before
Had enough, gone too far
I know who can tend all the scars
Feel this way every night
But I know who can make it alright
And so I write...

I got no one to go to,
So if you're reading this, good for you
I know you've felt like you were all alone,
But deep inside you knew you'd pull through"
Said I can't, swear I will,
They don't care what I even feel
Head phones in, music on
Drown them out; I'll do what I want
Prove them wrong, my intent,
There no time to be conceited
And to that end...

For you I write this letter,
I know things get worse before they're better
You didn't let him break all your ambitions,
I know you showed them, made them all believers"
Many times I have felt
A losing hand is what I've been dealt
All the mess, all the hate
Had me thinking it was too late
Take a breath, recompose
One by one, my doubts I'll dispose
So here it goes...

I must apologize
For all the times my faith was compromised
For all the days I wasted in depression
I know you've finally found some peace of mind"

'Me.

HAPPY

Being alone is great, but being with someone is even better.

PETRI DISH

Often hear "everything happens for a reason" The older I get then more I lean towards dropping the second half of that sentence "everything happens."

The more I experience, the more I get the sense of the vastness of existence and the more it makes sense to me that the "great plan" is more like an unimaginably complex petri dish.

Everything is in motion and everything will eventually happen.

I have moved away from the idea that my life has some great plan and I honestly think that chance has a lot to do with life and our attitude to that chance shapes our lives far more than some divine plan.

Could it perhaps be ego that encourages us to think that we, as individuals, warrant a specific fate?

There are so many of us (and who knows how many other consciousnesses out there) that I keep coming back to "everything happens" and I have a wonderful opportunity to enjoy my part of everything.

STUPID

I don't like hearing people say this in a self-referential way because you're not.

Yes, It may be true that you did something less than intelligent, or made a few mistakes, or even failed once or twice.

Those things do not and never will make you a stupid person.

The truth is I know you're a wonderfully intelligent person and the whole world knows it, so please don't call yourself stupid.

Even as a joke.

SL

Wala ako sa mood. Hindi maganda ang pakiramdam ko ngayon, kaya tama na muna ang pagka-emo at tinatamad akong mag ingles. Ha-ha. Ibabaon ko muna sa lupa. Hongkorni. Dahil nawala ang drive ko mag trabaho ‘nung Martes kasi pinapasok ako kahit na on-leave ako. Bwisit lang! . Sana lang walang makabasa nito sa office, kundi lagot ako.

Kaya SL – Sex Leave Sick Leave ako kinabukasan. Kapag nag file ka ng SL for more than one day kailangan with Medical Certificate. Ganyan ang patakaran sa kumpanyang pinapasukan ko ‘ewan ko lang iba’. So, nagtungo ako ng hospital para magpa konsulta. Salamat sa Medical Card ng kumpanya dahil libre lahat wala akong gagastusin. Kapag may masama o may nararamdaman akong kakaiba na ‘di maganda, eh diretso ako agad sa  hospital o clinic na covered ng card para masulit ang benipisyo.

Xray Room kung saan nag sayang ng 8films sa akin =)

Ang diagnosis sa akin ni Doc ay Tension Headache, sabi ko kasi madalas sumakit ang ulo ko kapag concentrated akong nakaharap sa computer. Nireklamo ko na rin ang pananakit ng leeg ko ‘di ko kasi maigalaw ng maayos, Stiff neck kumbaga. Sabi nya Cervical Muscle Spasm at kailangan i-xray. Deretso ako sa Radiology… walong beses akong na-Xray ang tatlo dun eh pina-nganga ako. Kaya tatlong beses inulit, ibuka ko daw ng malaki. Ang pinag-tataka ko lang ang alam ko stiff neck na endorse na magpa- Xray.

Nagutom ako sa tagal ng proseso sa hospital lalo na pila sa Xray room kaya tsumibog muna ako ng lugaw w/egg at tokwa sa may kanto at kinain ko din ang dala kong biscocho na bigaw ni [insert blogger name here]. Muntikan ko pang mag 123 sa kinain ko. Nakalimutan ko magbayad. 

di masarap ang tokwa nila pramis.

Flashback. Naalala ko tuloy noong hayskul pa ako, bumibili ako ng kwik-kwik sa tapat ng school. Nakalimutan ko mag bayad bigla akong tumawid, namuntik na ako masagasaan ng dyip! Sabi ng tindera, hayan ambilis ng karma!. Makakalimutin talaga ako noon pag dating sa bayaran… tsk tsk. Pag pauwi ako from work nakakatulog ako sa bus at hindi na nakapagbayad ng pamasahe. Naiba na ang topic : D

In Short, ‘di ako papasok hanggang Friday I need some rest yan ang advised ni Doc.

A NEW BEGINNING

Here I sit, staring at my screen.

So white, so bright.

I am starting to believe I am manifesting a tan.

There are soooo many things I am going to accomplish this year.

This is my year.

When things start coming together, it may be everyone's year.

A couple of quotes keep popping into my head today:

"Forgiveness is the fragrance a violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." -Mark Twain

"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." -Dr.Wayne Dyer

"Beyond the ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing there is a field. I'll meet you there." -Rumi

"Honor thy error as hidden intention." -Unknown

"Thinking is the talking of the soul to itself." -Plato

SCARS

From the words of Hannibal Lecter "our scars have the power to remind us that our past was real" And it does. No matter how much we want to erase all memory of our heartaches, our frustrations, it doesn’t matter. Because in the end, you will still look back and realize that it did happen and you can’t do anything about it.

How do we treat our wounds? We patch it up, put some medications and it heals and then leaves a scar. It’s just that. A scar, a reminder -- Fact is…you’ve gone through it. You are healed.

But why does it still hurt when we touch our scars?

YEAR 2011

Prayer for the First Day of the Year

O God, ever blessed and eternal! I thank You that today You have allowed me to begin a new year. Here in Your presence I make my resolutions for the days to come.


I resolve:

to be faithful and true to those who love me, and loyal to those who are my friends, so that I may never bring distress to their hearts;

to live in forgiveness and in kindness, that I may go about ever doing good;

to live in goodness and purity, that I may resist temptation and may be a strength to others who are tempted;

to live in sympathy and gentleness, that I may bring comfort to the sorrowing, and understanding to the perplexed;

to live in serenity and self-control, that no anger and no passion may disturb my own peace and the peace of others;

to live in full obedience to You and in Your perfect love, that in doing Your will I may find peace.

O God, our Father, grant me the strength to keep these resolutions all this year: through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.


HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!


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