AFTER THE PAUSE

 It’s been a while since I last wrote here.

I’ve been meaning to come back—with something meaningful, something intentional—but life had other plans. A few weeks ago, everything just… stopped.

It started on the day of an event.
A big one. I was managing, running around, smiling, cueing people, making things happen like I always do. But somewhere in the middle of it all, my stomach started hurting. Not just discomfort—real pain. Still, I pushed through. I thought, “It can wait. The show must go on.”
So I finished the event. Every last detail. Smiled through the pain. And then?
I went straight to the hospital.

A few hours later, I was being prepped for emergency surgery. Appendectomy.
I didn’t even have time to process it. Just like that—I was out of the loop, grounded, vulnerable, and hooked up to machines in a cold hospital room.

And here’s the twist: my health insurance had just expired.
I had no coverage during the surgery.
But… the next day—the very next day—my policy got renewed and reactivated. I didn’t even ask. It just happened.
Call it luck. Timing. Grace. I honestly don’t know. But it reminded me: I’m not always in control—and maybe I don’t need to be.

Lying there post-op, I felt everything catch up to me. Not just the pain—but the exhaustion, the pressure, the expectations I had buried under the title of “strong” and “resilient.” I realized how much of myself I had been pushing aside. For work. For people. For perfection.

That pause—unwanted as it was—saved me.

And so, here I am, writing this.
Not to share a highlight reel.
But to mark a moment.
Of being human. Of breaking. Of healing.

If you’ve ever had to be strong when you didn’t want to be, or had everything crash when you least expected it—know that you’re not alone. Sometimes, life pulls you out of the chaos, not to punish you—but to bring you back to yourself.

I’m learning to move slower.
To rest without guilt.
To honor the quiet.
And most importantly—to be kinder to myself.

Thanks for being here, still. 

Let’s keep going. 

Gently, this time.