Strangely, I have become a slave to my emotions…the passion I’ve been wanting to conceal ever since I started to put much weight into my pride and masculine undertones to let other people know that my love will manifest only at a very random circumstance. Afraid for everybody to take a superficial judgment into my long-been-kept fragility, I tried my way of upholding my belief of an ideal love clandestinely. Until everything has changed when I met you darling. Was it a sort of karmic debt? Or another love story bound to end tragically?
We may never know how long will this end and how far we may go through in the midst of the unseen mockery of our first self-proclaimed divinely-planned encounter. A love like ours, have happened cyclically ever since God finally assented to give us the one-in-a-million privilege of knowing each other. Until now, I still ask myself, and the entire universe who have been both the conspirators and witnesses, of how our love began.
I had walked astray to different forks of my journey all this time, certainly and constantly believing that the road I have been traversing is somewhat the right and final one. I fooled myself of the things I had come across with and let myself being mired into sordid circumstances. I never knew that we both had passed the same roads until we just saw each other stained with blood at the crossroads. The pains of our past keep flashing on our minds and vitiating our professed affection…and it will never cease to exist in the depths of my soul for its scars have remained there, constantly reminding me that fate has played a game on us unknowingly. But my love has been binding in you already that each strand of your repulsive past made me always less of a man.
I don’t understand myself why am I still fighting for you though the pain has been a constant nightmare to me. I will never understand it and I will seek the answers no more for I know I couldn’t dig into the true essence of my obsession. I just let it be and hold myself and my destiny liable for the heartaches and pains it brought to me. You have never wronged me, but my fate does…I fell into its bait purposely to smack me of the reality. Neither would I feel bitter about it nor would I blame you because we are just puppets being played meticulously at the center stage of God’s loving hands.
With much love and adoration to the girl whom I had willfully let myself a slave…I love you apart from all my doubts, my pains and my hatred…
- Letter from A man who considers himself as just another fly off the wall.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone